I was down at the store, to buy some shampoo,

After having eaten a dinner or two,

When I suddenly realized that something was wrong,

Thus began my adventure, exciting, and long.


I realized then that I had something to do,

And it was pretty bad, between me and you.

I had fallen into fate’s cruel, hungry trap,

It was late in the night, and I had to…crap.


So I said to my father, and my mother too,

And I yelled to the clerk, “Good evening to you!”

I left that damned store with my stolen shampoo,

Ran halfway to hell just to go to the loo.


I crossed street after street, with tiring feet,

I knew I shouldn’t have eaten all that meat!

I ran red lights and yellows, with sweat on my face,

Faster than Bolt when he’s running a race.


I got texts from my parents, saying “Go to McDonalds!”

But I passed it already…What rhymes with McDonalds?

Nonetheless, I continued towards my destination,

And to be sure, I wasn’t suffering from constipation.


Finally! The front door, but where are my keys?

I searched for the spare on my bare hands and knees,

I found it, and rushed for the toilet at last,

But I had time to spare, thank God I’m so fast.


So I hopped in the shower, and washed off the sweat,

Then I sat on the can, but I wasn’t done yet!

I wrote a poem, seven verses in all,

And that’s how I killed all my cholesterol.

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