"Write about the rage and heartbreak of losing a Skittle to a trusted friend."
This was what my survey told me to do. Before I begin, though, I have a few questions.
- How many Skittles did you have left?
- What color was the skittle? If it was red, there's an issue. If not, who gives a damn.
- How much do you weigh? All I'm saying is maybe it was a blessing in disguise.
An hour later…
I just received an anonymous response to these questions. There were 2 skittles left, it was red, and the dude weighs 85 lbs. I'm assuming it's a guy. There's a 51% chance I'm wrong, but, being the daredevil that I am, I'm choosing to go against the odds. Either way, they're pretty skinny. They need every skittle they can get. I mean, was the thief considering his victim's physical health?
I'll tell ya, loss is painful. Some of us might choose to put it out of our minds, some might choose to sulk in a corner for hours, and some might choose to wildly attack the Skittle-snatching scoundrel with a broom and an open knife. My general preference is the latter, but in this case I might go with option two, just to make the thief feel really goddamned guilty for stealing one Skittle. I think that'd be pretty funny. Just picture the look of remorse on their face.