A friend just told me that that lady Kristine…Katherine…what's her name again? Kylie, that's what it is. Anyway, she got her own show called "Life of Kylie." I thought she already had her own show called "The Entire Internet." I mean, you can't look anywhere without hearing about these people's expensive bathing suits and sex lives. But everyone has problems, right? Of course. However, while we have problems like "My car just ran out of gas in the middle of the desert and I need to take a massive dump," these people have problems like "No pizza for Kim: Reality TV star makes a late-night run to Manny's Pizzeria but arrives to find it's closed." That's a real quote from Daily Mail. Some people can't afford to order Domino's, and these people make national news for that? Come on, America.

I need my own show. If you disagree, go read every other post on this blog. When you're finished, you'll know that I deserve to be out there, soaking up the spotlight. If I had a reality show, I would let the world know that some people on TV actually do take dumps. I would show the people that some celebs-in-the-media's lives don't focus on fashion, and are actually more focused on getting into a good college. Tell your friends who long to see a person like themselves on Netflix! Tell your fat dad who watches football all day! Tell your mom who reads magazines about these people while she gets her hair dyed! Tell them, Ben de Plume needs a reality show. Also, feel free to tell the people at Netflix, Amazon Instant Video, and, why not, throw Hulu into the mix. They deserve to have an original show as good as my life. On second thought, is good the right word? I'm gonna order a pizza.

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